So while i was away for a week in Normandy, Field trip, my mom decided that she didn't want to be alone in the house for 6 days. (my dad was in South Africa on business and my bro was on his extended feild trip too.) ANYWAYS!!!!!....She decides to go to Morocco, cause that's what normal people do when they get bored....or not. She invited my grandmother, and off they went. After i return i get all sorts of cool trinkets and souvenirs and stuff. But nothing quite beats the intense messed upness of the "Magic Lipstick". One of the strangest things Ive been given from my grandma. She bought it for only a few Durhams, and it is the creepiest thing i have ever seen. I'm not trying to sound snobby, but anyone would take one look at this thing and ask if it was fisher price toy. it is light plastic, dark green with cheesy golden butterflies on it. "Sophie, put it on, no?" I open the cap....ITS FREAKEN GREEN!!! This is defiantly no making me feel more comfortable about it. "grandma, where did u buy this?" "Village herb doctor" "oh....wow..." I'm thinking "some old dude with no shirt on and missing teeth, told her to buy this, and she thought he was cute and cultural and now im going to die because of poisoned lipstick"
So I put it on, it feels sorta like chapstick...and it goes on clear...so im not dead yet and my lips aren't green....good so far. My grandmother pushes me to put more on. I give up and we both accept the fact the she got ripped off. "but he said it would be magic color..." I go back to hide the freakin tube. I look in the mirror my lips are bright red, not even...Fuchsia.
WHAT THE HELL????
I try rubbing it off, there is nothing to rub off, the fact is my lips are red. I look like a...a clown or a prostitute, either way NOT GOOD. My grandmother comes in "oh it did work, he dint lie, oh and by the way it is an ancient herbal combination and it stays on for 24 FREAKIN HOURS!!!!
my life is....special
oh and also i melted all the hair of a barbie doll, straight off her orange little head. Yea I'm not disturbed at all...So i have this social Studies project and it is this sort of model type thing, Ive made a washing machine. I decided to put a Barbie next to it, to show my superior scaling skills. I realise the baries hair is a mess. I decide, no hobo-looking barbie is going to be part of my project. So I go plug in my mom straightener...(you know this is going to end well) Brush it and wait. I take the straightener and clamp it on most of her hair, i wait for heat except when i try to pull it down and off. It doesn't move, "wtf" is all i think. For those of you who don't know, let me just inform you that doll's hair is often made up of very thin strings of plastic. When plastic reaches a certain temperature it melts. I feel like I made a revolutionary scientific discovery. Why don't you learn these things in school. We have to know how the Nunavut build igloos, but i was not informed out the dangers of grooming your dolls. Anyway,I freak at this horrible yellow glue that is stuck on the iron. Its still really hot. My mom would kill me if she knew i covered he iron in melted Barbies hair. I frantically find something to scrap it off, nail file works. And so Barbies gooey hair gobbed together in little balls like when you try to scratch sticker residue off something or that shiny stuff on scratch cards. My mom still noticed some tufts of hair. But she doesn't need to know the full story.